Sarcastically British

The Secret to a Happy Ending

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Fic: Bill the Palm Tree
Tokio Hotel: Bill WHAT?
Bill the Palm Tree

Inspired by this photo and written in about 3 seconds flat. Bill is a palm tree.

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the sky was blue. Bill looked down upon the bustling street below him and sighed.

The people of LA all hurried beneath his fronds, too busy, too preoccupied with their own lives to even glance up at Bill. It was a lonely life, being a palm tree. But at least he had the most beautiful leaves of all the boulevard. Georg who lived across the street only had floppy brown leaves that were nothing to write home about and Gustav didn’t even have any leaves at all!!

Yes, Bill was the prettiest palm tree and he knew it.

Being pretty came with its downsides though and often Bill wondered if that was the reason he had yet to find love, perhaps people were too intimidated by his beauty. If it weren’t for his damn roots he would have searched the lands far and wide to find his one true love, but as it was, he hadn’t ever moved.

Once, Bill thought Katy Perry had managed to move but it turned out she’s just died when a hurricane blew her over. If she hadn’t been such a bitch to him about his leaves he would have felt sorry for her.

Once again, Bill sighed, wishing someone would sweep him off his feet, in a manner of speaking. Then he looked down at his roots to survey the river of humans that flowed some twenty feet below.

Someone caught his eye. It was Tom. Bill knew it was Tom because often he paused beneath Bill’s shade to chat on the phone. Today was one of those days. Tom was gorgeous, Bill thought. Tall, toned and tanned, he spoke with an exotic accent and when he leaned against Bill’s trunk Bill could practically feel how sexy he was.

Tom stayed to chat to whoever was on the other end of the line for ten minutes and Bill did his best to protect him from the sun’s rays. He even rustled his leaves a bit, hoping to send down a cool breeze so Tom didn’t break out in a sweat under the relentless LA sunshine. Then Tom went on his way, moving easily between the crowds as he disappeared down the boulevard.

Bill sighed heavily again, and desperately hoped than he and Tom were truly, madly, deeply in love in another life.


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Poor Palm Tree Bill, he is so lonely. But it's okay because tbh deep down I think he knows that he and Tom are soulmates <33333333333333


Aaaaaa! I flippin' loved this! *goes to read it again* ^^ You should soooo post this on THF, lol

Re: EmilyS

I love how Gustav-tree is bald XD

hahah lol sorry Gustav! He got slightly short-changed in this little story. Although I suppose not as short-changed as Katy Perry...

Hah aww thanks!! I don't think I'd be allowed to post this on thf? It's like 400 words of insanity lol

It's so cute I wanna cry ;_;

This is just fantastic. Such a wonderful (and somehow it feels very valid) image of Bill as a palm tree - unable to move, but if he only could, he'd search the world for his one true love.

Also, which is so cute here but of course a tragedy: he is in love, but the individual he is in love with seems unaware of him, and he can't reach out in any way, only hope the individual stops by at random. Tom likes to benefit from Bill's shade, function as a resting place, and perhaps good position (handily on the way to somewhere Tom sometimes passes with some intervals) every now and then, but none of these things are such Bill can rule over.

Ouch! But how wonderfully made. Bonus points for the Kate Perry reference, my reflection is that in that relationship, I wonder if it isn't/wasn't Russell Brand who was the palm tree…

Loved it.

Aw, hello you!

I'm so happy you enjoyed this, it was fun to write, little Palm Tree Bill. Thank you thank you your lovely comment :)

How did I miss this? XD
This is absolutely brilliant and hilarious! Love it!

Hahah lolol thanks darling! It was so fun to write!

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