Sarcastically British

The Secret to a Happy Ending

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Fic: Ice is Back (or not) (Yunho/Jaejoong) Oneshot
DBSK: YunJae
Title: Ice is Back (or not)
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: R
Genre: non-AU fluff, humour
Disclaimer: The boys are not mine, the words are.
Summary: Jae is not happy about Yunho's lack of participation in the ice bucket challenge. (Sequel to Ice Ice Baby but can be read as a stand alone)

Author's Notes: Sooooo, I wrote a sequel and it was actually so much fun! I love YunJae oodles, especially this kind. This is possibly one of my more pointless little universes but hey ho, I hope you all can enjoy! Thank you for reading! Oh, and I should really say thank you to jaan30 and tardiskeeper for so kindly informing me of Yunho's nomination by Himchan from BAP, and there was mention of a second nomination but from whom I don't know :)

P.S if you like, you can donate here! Or here if you are British like me! I did do my own ice bucket challenge, and have donated to both :)

Can also be found on my AO3 here!


“Are you fucking serious?!”

Jae stormed into the hotel room, dumped his overnight bag on the bed and began pacing like an irate tiger in a cage.

Yunho looked up from his laptop and tried not to grin. He knew exactly what had brought such an outraged Jae up to his hotel room a day early than planned and he couldn’t say it didn’t amuse him. Slowly, he pushed his chair from the desk so it faced into the room and folded his hands in his lap, watching his frustrated lover.

“How did you get out of this one?” Jae demanded, finally sparing Yunho a tempestuous look.

Yunho didn’t even blanch. He’d been on the receiving end of hundreds of Jae’s tirades and although some had left scorching burn marks, this was simply a minor blow up, nothing Yunho couldn’t fix with a little TLC later on.

“I didn’t get out of anything, I donated more than generously.”

“Didn’t get out of anything my ass,” Jae growled. His pacing came to an end and he strode forward until he was standing in front of Yunho looking extremely put out. “I had to pour a virtual waterfall over my head and you get away with donating a nice, dry lump sum of money. Lee Soo Man is growing soft in his old age.”

“I’ve earned the right to act as I please,” Yunho said smugly.

Jae cursed and threw his hands in the air. “You make such a bad idol!”

Yunho frowned. “Excuse me? I’ve been busy over here recording a drama. Need I remind you who made such a bad idol they jumped ship not so long ago?”

Jae waved Yunho away impatiently, clearly unimpressed with his jibe.

“I left SME because I had to, we all made the decision together and now I am the perfect idol adored by millions.”

Yunho laughed. “You don’t look so perfect today.”

But even as he said this, his belly swirled in slight guilt. Despite his earlier amusement, the first thing he’d noticed when Jae had barged into his hotel room was how tired his lover looked. He wondered how much sleep Jae had been getting and made a mental note to make sure Jae slept like a baby tonight. They had one night together before Jae went off to Vietnam and he continued filming Night Watchman’s Journal. Yunho vowed he would make sure Jae fell asleep and woke up in his arms. Jae always said he never slept properly unless he was held by Yunho.

“Excuse me?!” Jae repeated Yunho’s earlier words but with much more venom.

Yunho was so focused on his plan to get Jae a decent night’s sleep he was startled when his still miffed lover placed his hands on the arms of Yunho’s chair and directed a seething look down at him.

“I have to put myself through all kinds of torture for my fans and all you do is swan around on a TV set in a ridiculous outfit and they fawn all over you.”

“You wore one of those ridiculous outfits not long ago,” Yunho reminded him, his amusement back.

“I looked considerably less ridiculous than you. You have a funny shaped head.”

Yunho bit his lip, knowing Jae was trying to wind him up to the same levels of disgruntlement as himself. “I think I look good.”

Jae frowned and admitted. “You do look good, do you get to keep the costumes afterwards? ... you know what, that doesn’t matter right now. Was it the coordi noonas? Is that why you won’t do it, because you’ll mess up their make-up? Some imagined moral obligation of yours?”

Yunho shook his head amusedly. “I told you, I’m busy and made the decision to donate instead.”

“I don’t see why you can’t do both. I did,” Jae folded his arms and stuck his hip out, clearly still very incensed.

Yunho shrugged his shoulders.

“Changmin makes a better idol than you!” Jae squawked, throwing his hands in the air once more.

Yunho smiled to himself. “Of course he does, Changmin is perfect.”

Jae made a disgusted sound and glared at Yunho. “Don’t give me any of your precious-Changmin-is-perfect garbage, I’m not in the mood.”

“Aw,” Yunho tilted his head and gave Jae a look of mock-pity. “Don’t be jealous of Changmin. I love you both.”

“I don’t care how much you love either of us. Right now I want you to do the ice bucket challenge so you can share my suffering!”

Yunho rolled his eyes and stood up, shutting his laptop and moving to the bed to peel back the covers. “Jae, you were slightly chilly for five seconds and it was for a good cause, show a little grace.”

“Oh you are not feeding me that “slightly chilly” drivel again. It was so cold I almost got hypothermia!” Jae followed Yunho round to the side of the bed.

“Good thing I was there to save you then,” Yunho said, mildly exasperated. “You might not be there for mine and I might die.”

“You could get Leerin to warm you up,” Jae folded his arms again and looked at the floor.

“Careful Jae, your eyes are turning green,” Yunho warned.

“I’m just saying, he could show a little discretion.” Yunho watched at Jae lifted a shoulder and feigned nonchalance.

“You can stop those thoughts right there because I’m not doing the challenge and Leerin is not going to warm me up,” Yunho said as he walked around Jae to the en suite, shucking his t-shirt as he went.

He felt more than heard Jae follow him closely and smirked, half maddened and half amused by his lover’s tragically predictable reaction.

“You got nominated by two people... two!” Jaejoong waved two fingers in the mirror as Yunho gave him a withering look. “I pretty much did it for posterity’s sake and you worm your way out of two nominations. Heechul didn’t even nominate you, if he had maybe you would have done what you were supposed to, he’s wonderfully trained in the art of persuasion.”

“I feel popular,” Yunho grinned at Jae through the mirror and began to remove the rest of his clothes.

“You are popular, Yunho. You don’t need some starry eyed B-list idols to nominate you to know that.”

“Starry eyed is a bit over an overstatement,” Yunho wrinkled his nose.

“It was a blatant cry for attention from the almighty U-Know Yunho,” Jae said as he began to strip, too. “Well he can keep dreaming because you are taken and I do not share.”

“He is quite pretty,” Yunho mused, eyeing Jae impishly.

“Oh please,” Jae snorted. “His nose is too straight and he’s had so much plastic surgery he looks like a pixie on crack.”

Yunho guffawed. “Pot... kettle... black?”

Jae cut Yunho an icy look but the full effect was somewhat diminished owing to the fact Jae was hopping around with one leg still stuck in his jeans. “Do you want to repeat that?”

“I don’t think so, I’m rather fond of my balls,” Yunho chuckled. Ignoring Jae’s subsequent cussing, Yunho turned his attention to the shower, spinning the dial to a nice warm setting and stepping under the spray.

Two seconds later Jae joined him, crowding into his space and trying to hog the warm water. “Move over, it’s cold.”

“No wonder you couldn’t handle being slightly chilly.”

Jae pouted and wrapped his arms around Yunho. “I’m going to ignore that one for my own sake because I’m actually rather fond of your balls, too.”

Yunho grinned, liking this side of Jae. “Oh, have you decided to play nice?” He wrapped his own arms around Jae and kissed him warmly beneath the spray, steamy tendrils coming up to hug them both beneath the water.

“I’m always nice... in the end,” Jae’s voice was huskier and his hands were roaming. Yunho kissed him again, melting into his lover and reaching round to squeeze his ass gently.

“Will you be nice here, or will you be nice in bed?”

“Mm,” Jae hummed into Yunho’s lips. “Here.”

Yunho nodded, pushing his tongue into Jae’s mouth. Slippery with moisture already, Yunho pressed a finger into Jae’s crease and found his warm, pink hole, delighting in the way it twitched under his finger.

“No, no,” Jae arched his back, away from Yunho’s touch. “Tonight is about you, I missed you so much.”

Yunho was surprised. Jae wasn’t selfish in bed but to deny Yunho entry.... Yunho felt he was in for a treat. Sure enough, he groaned as Jae wrapped a soft hand around his hardening cock and tugged. “Ohh... fuck.”

“Mmm,” Jae’s voice vibrated. “Are you feeling good, Yunho? Are you feeling warm?”

Yunho nodded, kissing Jae more passionately and allowing himself to relax into his lover. “So warm.”


In an instant, Jae had leapt back with a cackle just as the water turned icy, cascading down upon Yunho and causing him to shriek in utter shock.

“Jaejoong, you absolute fucker!!” Yunho yelped, hopping from the offending spray and out of the shower.

He heard Jae laugh wickedly from the bedroom and he snatched the nearest towel from the radiator. Hurriedly, he turned the dial of the shower off and thundered into the bedroom after Jae.

Jae was tucked up in bed, naked but swathed in a fluffy duvet and wearing an obscenely pleased grin.

“I hate you, you are such a shit,” Yunho groused, huffing as he yanked the covers back and climbed in beside Jae, shoving him to the farthest side of the bed in remonstration.

Jae was still laughing. “Are you okay, Yunho? Are you feeling slightly chilly?”

Yunho looked crossly at Jae who was lolling around on the bed looking all too much like the cat who got the cream.

“I’m feeling fucking freezing,” Yunho said bitterly, sinking down into the covers and rolling away from Jae.

“Oh, poor Yunho,” Yunho could hear the mocking pout in Jae’s voice. “I’ll warm you up. I’ll save you from hypothermia.”

Yunho tensed as he felt Jaejoong come up behind him and wrap a warm arm around his waist but soon found himself nestling back into his lover’s embrace.

After several moments of Yunho’s silence and Jae’s chuckles, Yunho sighed, rolling over to face Jae and then urging him to do the same.

“What are you doing? I thought I was saving you from hypothermia?”

“I’m holding you, like a good boyfriend,” “Yunho told him, pulling Jae against his chest and kissing the back of his neck. “I may be a bad idol, but I’m not going to be a bad boyfriend, you need sleep.”

Jae laughed softly. “I was kidding, you know.”

“I know.”

“I think you’re a great idol.”

“I know,” Yunho squeezed Jae gently and smiled as Jae brought one of his hands to his lips. Jae’s fascination with his hands was as endearing as his pout, which Yunho was very fond of.

“But I think you’re a better boyfriend,” Jae said, kissing Yunho’s knuckles tenderly.

“Even if I don’t do the ice bucket challenge?” Yunho inquired.

“Hm, we will see about that.”


Thank you thank you for reading! Comments are absolute love but even if you simply read and move on I still love ya!

Also also a few little(ish) notes because I don't want to come across and rude or mean about any of the idols (which I realise I have done through the guise of Jae in this fic) So, I would just like to say I have nothing whatsoever against Himchan and his straight nose and do not know much about him, least of all how much plastic surgery he's undergone. Or Jaejoong for that matter! I also have nothing against plastic surgey, if you wanna make yoself feel better then by all means do your thang. Also I don’t think Yunho has a funny shaped head, in fact I rather adore the shape of his head. A lot of REALLY ANNOYING stuff happened to me this week and I think I used Jae as an outlet. Apologies to all idols I offended you are all beautiful (esp Yunho and Jae).

Thank you again for taking the time to read, you are all FABULOUS :)

Was Yunho really nominated?
I don't recall reading that anywhere but I was surprise that Heechul didn't nominate him.

I love the fic and Jaejoong whining.

Apparently so! I just added it into my author's notes :) I was told he was nominated by Himchan from B.A.P.

Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

Edited at 2014-09-05 02:12 am (UTC)

Jae whinning us so cute...kekeke

Heh I enjoy a whiny Jae!

Thanks for reading and commenting!

Jae whinning is so cute...kekeke

Heh I enjoy a whiny Jae!

Thanks for reading and commenting!

ohh i love this..a whining jj is cute...i am surprised though that yunho didnt participate in the challenge..
thnx for sharing..:)

Heh I love a whiny Jae! Well, he hasn't participated YET ;)

Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

Yah what a treat!
Good on you Jae, a little chilly, well there's only one way to find out Yun.
I love their banter and jibes, then the next second they're all apologies and cuddles.
Jae as much as I would Love to see a drenched Yunho, wouldn't you like to keep that image for your eyes only, considering certain jealous tendencies.

Hahah oh I agree with you! Poor jealous Jae might not like everyone ogling his Yunho.

Thank you so so much for reading and commenting!

LOL yay, you did write it! xD Love the silly banter, complete with whiny (and probably pouty) Jaejoong haha! I'm surprised he didn't dump a bucket of ice water on him, IN the shower ;D (my sisters used to do that to me! but I got them back too hahaha) Cute. Plus the cuddling at the end, aww. Of course Yunho is a good boyfriend.<3

FYI I think you meant the prince, Lee Rin? Moo Seok is Yunho's character ;D

Thanks for sharing!^^

Haha I did! I was going to save it for later but then I started and couldn't stop. Hahah omg your sisters did that to you?! Wow I would murder whoever did that to me.

Yes I did thank you for pointing that out!! (THIS IS WHY I SHOULD HAVE A BETA)

Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

MOAAARRRRR hahaha I love their dynamics. And surely you meant Leerin, Ilwoo's character? Mooseok is Yunho's character :3 I wish Yunho had done the IBC though but maybe with his insane schedule it's for the best that he didn't.

I'm sure I'll have more of these two soon enough :) HA YES I DID OMG thanks for pointing that out!

Perhaps he will :) but yes, he's so busy atm maybe it is for the best!

Thanks so much for reading and commenting AND pointing out my terrible mistake!

These two are serious cuties. I really enjoyed reading this story.

Thank you thank you! I enjoyed writing this, too :)

I die at their cuteness , really enjoyed your fic ^^

You did good Jae :) And Yunho should feel gratefull that it was not a bucket of ice on him in the morning to wake him up ;)

Haha indeed he should! Thank you so much for reading :)

(Deleted comment)
Thank you so much for reading! Hahah I'm so rubbish at writing smut I thought I'd take it in a different direction, poor Yunho!

Ooooh priceless, I really enjoyed it!

Thank you very much!

Thank you! Thanks for reading and commenting!

Your whiny and JAElous JJ is so cute here! I wasnt expecting LeeRin to be brought up since this is still about the icb, but does it mean we can expect a fic on IlYunJae? will definitely read that! And much love for Yunho for worrying over JJ's tired self than listening to his ramblings XD
I thought this would be smutty! lol.

Thanks for the sequel~

Thank you thank you! I really enjoy writing whiny and jealous Jae :) Oh I don't know actually, I just threw LeeRin in because I was told Yunho is filming with him (I think???). I will definitely have SOME form of YunJae fics soon though!

I have written some smutty YunJae but I'm not that great so I don't include it in all my fics. Sorry for leading you on a bit! <3

Thank you so much for reading and writing!

this is so cute, love the whining jj heehhehe XDXD

Thank you so much! :D Ha I love writing whiny Jae, he's so much fun!


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