Sarcastically British

The Secret to a Happy Ending

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Fic: Bill the Palm Tree and Little Spoon Tom
Tokio Hotel: Bill so wrong yet so right
em_rose483
Bill the Palm Tree and Little Spoon Tom

I feel like I’d get banned for life from THF if I posted over there so I’ll just keep this little Palm Tree series to myself over here...

Direct continuation from Bill the Palm Tree (see previous entry). Now introducing Little Spoon Tom. Written for and inspired by this pic I made for toastieghostie, and Zarlina/LitenSpindel. You guys are responsible for this, and don't you forget it.


Bill was busy fanning his leaves in the evening breeze when something small and hard slammed into the top of his trunk.

“Ouch!” He cried out in shock.

He shook his fronds violently, trying to dislodge whatever had fallen on his head. It wouldn’t budge but Bill could feel it, and Bill could hear it.

Who was this unwelcome guest?

Feeling irked, he puffed, his smaller front leaves blowing up in exasperation. It wasn’t a bird, as much as he resented them, at least birds were light on their feet even if they did crap everywhere. Whoever was occupying his perfect crop of leaves had hit Bill like a ton of bricks. A very small ton of bricks, but it had hurt.

“Get off me!” Bill tried verbal abuse.

“I can’t!” Came a small voice.

Finally, something small and silver rolled into his line of vision. It was a spoon, a pretty silver spoon with an angry red face and dreadlocks. Bill decided not to question the dreadlocks.

“Yes you can, I’ll just flick you off with my leaves,” Bill made to do as he’d promised but the little spoon yelled in protest.

“I’ll die! It’s so far down!”

Bill rolled his eyes. This spoon was quite the drama queen.

“Where did you even come from?” He eyed the spoon suspiciously.

“A magpie,” the spoon wheezed, clearly still traumatised from his ordeal. Bill felt a little sorry for the tiny thing, but it wasn’t enough to eclipse the chagrin he felt at the spoon’s violent landing.

“Those pesky thing, I thought they all disappeared when Katy Perry died,” Bill mused. “Well, you can’t stay here.”

The sun shone down and Bill raised his leaves to catch the rays, deciding to ignore his new tenant and hope the problem would remove itself.

“Can’t I just stay here?” the spoon was looking around curiously.

Bill’s attention snapped back to the spoon at once. “No you cannot!”

“Why not?” The spoon asked, rolling to wrap himself in one of Bill’s new leaves, a tiny green bud that had barely blossomed.

“There’s no room,” Bill said quickly.

“There’s loads,” the spoon retorted. “You have such nice leaves.”

Bill couldn’t help but preen. “You think do?”

“Oh yes,” said the spoon. “I’m Tom by the way.”

“Bill,” Bill replied, waving his leaves so a few brushed the top of Tom’s head.

“What a nice name, too,” Tom said, flashing Bill a coy look.

Bill would have blushed if he’d been able to. “Okay,” he acquiesced. “You can stay.”

Tom beamed. “Thanks.”

Bill looked the little spoon and wafted his leaves around so Tom was encased in a gentle embrace. Even if Tom the hot human didn’t even know he existed, Tom the Little Spoon was more than enough for Bill the Palm Tree.

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Oh my god xD I can't stop laughing! I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE LIKE WHAT THE HELL! This is too funny, I'm dying xD *continues to laugh like some kind of idiot*

OOOOO I didn't know you had LJ!

HAHAH I'm so glad I could make you laugh! Idk what I am doing with my life tbh, this is all I have to show for myself.

I didn't know myself that I had it until a few days ago to be honest xD I suddenly got a mail that they missed me and I was like, whaaat? Did I sign up there? I don't know shit about this page but it's good if I want to comments something I guess :D


Hahah it's a bit dead around here these days tbh, I sometimes forget I have mine, too. Well, thanks for dropping by my journal and leaving some laaaave <3

lol so preciousssssss XD

hehehhhhhh thanks <33333

Uh-oh! What can I say. What an excellent follow-up to the first one. Here, the two meet - but what a random meeting. A bird has stolen spoon Tom from somewhere (we assume - i.e. he didn't plan to leave his place, and he was not in search of a soul mate, we also assume), and dropped him on top of Bill. When they meet, spoon Tom is nothing of what palm tree Bill wants from a friend or soul mate. What can a spoon give a palm tree? What can a palm tree give a spoon? They have nothing of function to meet - a spoon and a tree can give each other pretty little. (I'm very fascinated by how one object, which is very functional in one setting, is completely useless in another, after I read the book "The Road".)

Tom asks for some protection from the great fall (what he gains from the relationship) and Bill keeps Tom in - we assume - hopes for more of the flattery in the future. That's what they are to each other. They have one-sided, instrumental use for the other individual, but hardly a mutual, intuitive, interactive use. Could there ever be a meeting of souls here?

I'd love to find out! This was so stimulating to read. Thank you for sharing.

I also recently read The Road, but never thought about it in reference to this little story, interesting!

Thank you again for your sweet comments, they've made my morning!

I might die from laughter! This is absolutely brilliant! I can so imagine Bill as a palm tree and Little Spoon Tom is definitely the perfect match XD

Hahahah aw thank you!! So happy it made you laugh, that's what it was for :)

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